PYONGYANG – Aug 15th, 2023 - In a announcement that shocked the world, North Korea today announced that it has successfully birthed a Neanderthal baby more than a year ago. Samples of live cultured cells from the baby were sent to labs around the world in conjunction with the announcement.
“We can confirm that this is in fact a Neaderthal-based child,” said Dr. Panneteria, the head of exo-biology at the CDC in Atlanta. “Over 80% of the genome sequenced matches samples of genetic materials that have been reassembled from Neaderthal remains. Of course, modern humans from European stock retain about 5-10% of their own genetic stock from interbreeding with Neanderthals.”
Rumors have circulated that North Korea is planning on assembling an army of genetically modified Neanderthals, claiming that such organisms lie outside of the Geneva conventions as “non human”…
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