ARTICLES
LONDON – 18th Dec, 2043 – Keith Richards today celebrated his 100th birthday with a huge party at his residence in Dartford, Kent, and was personally presented his knighthood and centenary award by Queen Catherine – of course with his lifelong friend Mick Jagger who also celebrated his own centenary earlier in the year…
BANGKOK – July 3rd , 2022 – Amid a media frenzy befit a royal wedding, on his 60th birthday today Tom Cruise confirmed rumors that he had cloned himself, and in fact is expecting the delivery of his cloned baby around Christmas this year. Dakota Fanning stood beside her husband during the announcement, holding hands with Bunti Thanom, the surrogate mother. The announcement follows fast on the heels on the announcement last years of the first human clone in Thailand, a banned technology in the United States, which is falling further behind in other banned research areas. The Church of Scientology has been the first major religion to formally endorse cloning, saying that if God made us in His image, why should we not be allowed to make ourselves in our own image? Despite the smiles and fanfare, darker rumors circulated about Mr. Cruise’s medical conditions and possibilities of needing the child for organ replacement…
LOS ANGELES – 17th July, 2017 – Today Brad Pitt and Katy Perry announced that they were having a baby – synthetically of course. In a questionable first, the two have announced a cyber marriage and randomly combined their sequenced DNA to produce a cyber offspring, named Richard Pitt-Kerry, who has been simulated forward in age and appearance to appear in as a youth in this summer’s coming blockbuster, The Knights of Mist…
LOS ANGELES – Oct 28th, 2032 – In a surprise announcement, the X Factor, media’s longest running talent show, has announced that both Simon Cowell and Paula Abdul are actually robots, at least, they have been for the last four seasons of X Factor. Simon Cowell, long known to be suffering from cancer in 2027, actually did not recover as was reported, but succumbed to the disease…replaced by robot…same Paula, but unclear exactly how long Paula has been a robot…
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