UN Secretary General Hamid Karzai said, “The reduction of CO2 levels continue to be a major concern for the United Nations. All commercial CO2 activities must cease, including the production of carbonated soft drinks, if we want to reverse the effects of Global Warming. We have two hundred and fifty years of industrial abuse of the environment to undo. With temperatures up an average of 1.3 degrees since the turn of the century and the loss of polar ice during northern winters, the threat to the Antarctic ice sheet is real. Without out the Antarctic ice sheet, ocean levels will rise by at least fifteen feet, inundating hundreds of thousands of square miles in the United States alone, and the Earth will enter a cycle of warming that may lead to a runaway greenhouse effect. As much as we all enjoy a Coke, the days of summer fun are over. The advent of portable fusion has allowed our economies to transform beyond fossil fuel dependence, but this last bastion of indulgence must be removed.”

David Wittenberg, legal counsel for Coca-Cola said it was every American’s constitutional right to enjoy the real thing.

This story posted by best selling sci-fi author Peter Cawdron, author of Serengeti – find his blog here.

Full success of the operation will still take several months to evaluate. It will take one to two months for the severed nerve trunks re-attached in the spinal column and to various other sensory and motor nerve packets to reconnect using the reconnective neurosurgery techniques pioneered at the Mayo, and potentially years of physiotherapy. Mr. Dodds was able to communicate with his family during the entire procedure, however, using brain implant technologies, and reports that he is feeling fine inside his new body, feeling nothing more than a dull aching sensation thus far. To keep his mind occupied during the neuro-reconnection process, Mr. Dodds had artificial audio and visual implants installed into his optic and auditory nerves, so he can still see and hear what is going on around him, and even continue his business dealings by telephone and email.

The end result is far from certain, however.

“The mind is more than just the brain,” commented Dr. Patricia Killiam from MIT, “there is gray matter contained throughout the body, including the ancient brain in the gut. What happens when Mr. Dodds brain is connected to the remnants of the brain in the body he is connecting himself to is anyone’s guess.”

Some are more optimistic.

“In less than a year Mr. Dodds will be walking and talking in his new body,” said Dr. Finneas Tower of the Mayo who led the marathon, 36 hour operation team. “His goal is to be the first 100 year-old to climb Mt. Everest. He could very well live to be over 160 years old…”

“The creature belong to the animal group pinnipeds,” said Dr. Michael Woodley of the University of London, “which includes seals and walruses. I made a prediction back over a decade ago that there were still almost twenty species of this animal group that we had never seen, and this just proves me right.”

It is not the first time such an animal had been recorded by science. In 1751 the Royal Society of London’s Nehemiah Grew published a description in the Royal Society’s journals of an animal he has dissected and stored that was very similar to the animal captured this week in Russia. Unfortunately the specimen was lost some years later…

“We can confirm that this is in fact a Neaderthal-based child,” said Dr. Panneteria, the head of exo-biology at the CDC in Atlanta. “Over 80% of the genome sequenced matches samples of genetic materials that have been reassembled from Neaderthal remains. Of course, modern humans from European stock retain about 5-10% of their own genetic stock from interbreeding with Neanderthals.”

Rumors have circulated that North Korea is planning on assembling an army of genetically modified Neanderthals, claiming that such organisms lie outside of the Geneva conventions as “non human”…

Asked if there would be a military response, President Nader responded, “Let those freaks see how they survive without us. You can’t live on marijuana brownies forever.”

Mr. Santorum reiterated his campaign promises to seek outright bans on abortions as well as support the right of communities to ban the teaching of belief systems they don’t agree with, including the right to ban education relating to abortion and climate change…

Using OnStarValet, the shopper simply drives up to a shopping mall entrance, exits their car and activates the Valet system which then searches the mall parking for a spot and drives the car there and parks it. When the shopper is ready to leave, they simply reactivate the Valet which drives the car to pick up the shopper.

The new feature has predicted a surge in sales of GM cars in the US, and Walmart claims that huge reductions in parking space needed at their stores will enable them to sell of large tracts of real estate around the country. All other major manufacturers including Honda, Toyota, Ford and Chrysler are quickly following GM with their own self-parking systems, but lacking partnerships with Walmart is proving an obstacle…

The location contains the only proven large reserve of water on the moon, and the announcement has sparked outrage in the international community. The US, still without its own manned orbital launch system after canceling of the SLS program by the Romney administration in 2017, is now looking skyward at a China that hangs above their heads each night…

This announcement came after years of several key states banning the use of perfumes, starting with New Hampshire in 2012, claiming that many perfumes can trigger allergies in 1 in 6 people…

The Chimborazo location is key for several reasons. At nearly 20,000 feet, the high altitude location helps reduce air friction at launch, and although not the highest mountain in the world, it is the point the furthest from the center of the Earth due to its location at the equator and the bulge of the Earth at this point. The location is also the only point on the equator that stays below freezing, making it simpler to implement the key technology that has enabled the construction of the MDX – the high temperature superconductor.

While the 10g rotational acceleration at launch makes this primarily a non-human launch platform, it will be possible for very fit, properly trained humans to be launched into orbit with with the MDX for almost the same cost as a long distance airplane flight, ushering in a new age of space exploration…